


Burnt Wings

by MakennaSweets1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is Taken by The Empty | The Shadow (Supernatural), Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Pain, Sad Ending, Sad and Beautiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakennaSweets1967/pseuds/MakennaSweets1967
Summary: I watched as you fell into my arms covered in black, the blue grace burning from your eyes.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 2





	Burnt Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Found this in my drafts, written before recent events. Did this age well? No not in the slightest.

I watched as you fell into my arms covered in black, the blue grace burning from your eyes. 

”No” a voice like shards of glass scraping against piano strings screamed. My voice screamed. 

The empty it took you. 

The pain in my heart hurt worse than the pain of my burning flesh. Your wings etching their way into my skin, there for eternity. The fire tore through my clothing branding me with your mark like the one you left when we raise me from hell. 

No different the handprint was a hello, this is goodbye and there is no coming back this time. 

Your blue eyes are gone, burnt out like last dying star. I would never get to see those blue eyes again. 

And I never told you. 

I threw my head back, I couldn’t bear looking at your lifeless body. That wasn't you, it isn't you. The pale blue skin on your face, the hallow charred sockets where those eyes are supposed to be. Cold, nothing where life is supposed to be. 

Tears burned down my face, for you. I sobbed, screaming but no sound came out. Just defending silence, crushing down on my lungs. I bury my face into your neck holding you, but you're already gone. 

I never told, how much you meant to me. 

I called you dorky, strange, and weird as good as my compliments get. But I also yelled at you, blaming you for things that weren't even your fault. Slapped you in the face with all my problems, all my insecurities because it was easier to take it out on you than admit what I felt. 

Easier, but not. When I saw your broken face when I saw how I hurt you. Somehow you always forgave me. 

Between all the fighting and bad times, there was good. We got to be happy together, eating, laughing, enjoying our time. We got to be best friends something I’d never had before. I learned to love you in time and accept who I am. 

But all the while I didn't tell you how your blue eyes were the only ones I wanted to wake up to every morning. Tell you I didn't want you to leave even when it was for the greater good. Tell you how I wanted to pull you in and kiss you. 

I think my eyes tried to tell you, with those longing stares. Or how I couldn't stop them from glancing at your lips. I think I tried to show you when I hugged you tighter than I ever hugged anyone. Or when I clasped your shoulder. 

But I never told you. I never told you I love you.

All I could manage out was a lousy ”I need you”

I didn't realize you wanted more, I didn't think I could be the one. But when I saw you with another me with the empty. You kissed him, him who you thought was me. An instant of happiness that he needed to take you. But it wasn't real and it wasn't me, because I never told you. 

I kept it all locked away pressed down deep inside. Determined it would hurt less when you eventually left me but it doesn't. It hurts more because you will never know. And maybe if you had known things could have been different. 

And I still want you, I still need you. After we burn your body. After Sam told me about your deal with the empty. 

Now all I have is your wings etched into my skin. A reminder for eternity that you were here but now your gone. 

A reminder I never told you. 

A hole left inside of me. Nothingness just like what you are in. Even after all this time, I'm numb from loving you and losing you. 

Every night I trace my fingers over the burns, praying you'll come back. Digging my fingers into the marks hoping I feel the same pain as you. 

I scream out in pain but it's the pain that I crave because you are in a place worse than hell. I know how much it hurts Sam when he hears my cries but I can't stop. 

I can't get these damn wings off my corpse. I can't stop thinking about you. 

Sam stops coming to me, stops trying to make me stop the habit. Stops trying to make me eat, make me leave my bed. He's given up, and I feel bad because his brother is gone. 

It's not me anymore it's just pain and regret. 

Harrowing at my bones, eating me alive. Like maggots feasting inside the bullet hole of a deer shot at the wrong angle. 

I never told you and now I never can. 

I ask. 

What's the point anymore?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about this.
> 
> I know it's tough out there especially in the fandom right now, because of what the show means to a lot of people. But stay strong and keep fighting.   
>  \- Makenna(Maka) Sweets


End file.
